Getting Back to Work

Monday, July 2, 2012

Wow!  It seems hard to believe it has been so long since I posted anything in this blog.  There is so much to tell, so much has changed since my last post and if you are a follower of this poorly kept ministry I apologize.

I always say "I preach where I live".  In this I mean that I use my own life and experiences as an example (good and bad) for the point I feel the Lord has given me to discuss.  And along this line I confess to you dear friends that my blog has been on hiatus because my precious feelings were hurt.  Say it with me, "Awwwww".  I know, pitiful right?

In my last true blog I wrote what I felt the Lord was leading me to say based on some things I saw happening in MY OWN LIFE.  You see, I had seen other folks travel the path I felt I was on.  We had pastured them and I also had seen some preachers making these bad decisions as well.  The end result was an attitude of pride that led to backsliding.  Not the kind where people completely forsake the Lord and His church, but the more dangerous kind where we think everything between us and Him is good but inside we have become the more repulsive "lukewarm".  It is SO much more dangerous to think you are safe and then when the day of testing comes find out you're not.

A few in the church where I was at the time of that writing took offense.  They were sure that the two examples I had used were them and oh, they needed to vent.  I was devastated and honestly that was immature of me.  I said ME.  People are often going to take preaching wrong, they always have.  Conviction can cause us to rebel or be resentful and so... I was.  You see my precious little feelings caused me to have a self-pity party.  "How could someone think I was trying to hurt them!?!"  "Shouldn't they know that I wouldn't do that!?!"  Anyway, you get the picture.  On the outside I acted like it didn't bother me but inside was another story.

I immediately took my toys and went home.  I deleted almost all of my previous blogs because I didn't want to offend anyone again.  That's a shame too because some of those writings had blessed some folks.  The blog that lead to this spiritual tantrum was perhaps the best received of them all as many called it a blessing and soul searching.  I had forgotten that the message of Jesus and toe-stomping messages have always been words that burn itching ears.

I allowed that to poison my own spirit and the rest of my time in that church I took note of everyone who was offended by something or nothing.  My eyes became more and more critical until I knew I had to make changes.  Now at first, I looked only to my physical man when we should always look to the inner, spiritual self first.  I was upset that these people were convicted when I SHOULD have been sad that I didn't believe in what I was writing enough to stand by it.  Was it the Lord moving on my heart or not?

So I'm back to trying to share what I feel the Lord would have me to share.  I hope this is well received but I can only do what I can.  I pray the anointing will be upon this blog to bless and touch, heal and deliver.  I'm getting back to work.  Would you like to join me?