Moving Forward

Today I put on an old church T-shirt. “So what” you say? Well you need to know it’s the first time I have put it on since I resigned as pastor of that church. It was a big moment for me even if no one else thought about it or cared.

I’ve served as pastor of six churches in my years of ministry all filled with mountains and valleys. For a long time I believed it was my ministry to serve as a part-time pastor for churches that could not afford a full-time position. Often I went in to rebuild after a split or other such situation that had left the church depleted and needing to start over. I did this until physically I couldn’t any longer.

When things go bad in a church an often overlooked casualty is the minister. Please don’t misunderstand, I know full well in such times it’s often the leaders fault things go as they do but RARELY was the crash planned. In fact I’d say almost never is a church catastrophe what people wanted and those hurt or offended forget that in their own hurt or anger.

When there is dissention, factions, gossip, moral failure, or even the disastrous split the local body suffers and the pain starts in the heart of the shepherd. He or she must bear this burden more than anyone else even after they’ve gone somewhere else.

The shirt I wear today is from one of my most pleasant memories. When it ended my heart was shattered in ways I could not have imagined it could be. Almost everything that could have happened short of moral failure took place and the cost was unimaginable. I could see it coming, I had been told it was coming and even made contingency plans to prepare for it but when it did I couldn’t handle it.

I thought of leaving the ministry for good. I considered many, many excessive reactions and today as I wear that shirt I praise my God that I didn’t do them.

So, back to that shirt. When I moved on I burned many of my memories as to protect myself from them. How foolish. Memory is in your mind not a drawer. I have prayed for YEARS about this hurt as I asked God to help me overcome my bitterness, regret, and pain. It didn’t happen overnight but I can definitely feel it getting better.

I look at myself in the shirt and a flood of good memories flood over me, the good outweighing the bad in massive proportions and I want you to know this can happen to you as well but you must keep seeking the Father. I think of Galatians 6:9 where it says “And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”
Moving on is a heart issue no matter why you need to move on or where from the most important thing is do not give up. Keep praying, keep seeking the Lord, just never, ever quit.

Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and remember, YOU ARE LOVED!!