For the last three years I've been trying to practice a rule I heard Jesse Duplantis share which is; "Don't preach what you're going through but what you've been delivered from!" I liked that so much I made it a ministry rule for myself.
Today I came across some notes as I was cleaning my desk that I thought I'd share with any who might like a view from inside the ministry because they were written at a time I was going THROUGH something. I'm reminded of a passage from Micah 7:8 where it says "Do not rejoice over me, my enemy. When I fall, I will rise." You see what you're going through is just for this season. The only way it can have permanent victory over you is if you allow it to change you.
Now that said, sometimes it's a good thing to change so you do not make the same foolish choices again. No one likes being burnt over and over. Yet far too often bad experiences cause us to pull back from something that was good and it's in this vein I want to share these notes to any young ministers who read this blog. There will be hurts and there will be betrayals but how you respond will make all the difference. It is my hope that in reading this you will be better prepped to recover from the injuries of ministry.
#1 - In church it seems "Peripheral people are the ones most easily offended." You know these folks. They come every now and then, never get truly involved and almost never work in any serious sense, yet it is these people who throw a fit over the smallest misunderstandings. You say something from the pulpit (or these days on the Internet) and they take it personal when you never even thought about them. How could you, you never see them. These folks are always going from one church to another and they are usually very loud critics of where they've come from.
Don't be surprised. You can best depend on those who will believe the best of others because they will believe the best of you. Build on folks who do not live on the edges but get in and work even when you don't do things the way they want.
#2 - The uncommitted demand the most commitment. As a follow up to number one, you need to be aware that the people who serve God on the edges will be the ones who want you for every need they have. Phone calls, Juniors ball games, hospital visits for their neighbors third cousin (and I'm not making that up) they demand you be there for any need or support they desire. If you're not, Katie bar the door!
You see such folks are looking for a reason to be unhappy, find fault, and leave your church. I sadly tell you, let them. Too often we spend so much of our time of the troubled folks we forget the people who truly have troubles. We have a hungry world to win and how can we do it if we're constantly feeding the babies who refuse to grow up?
Now before I get to my last two points I want to say something sad. Ministers, you are going to have seasons of betrayal. Pastor Randy Valimont recently spoke at the Louisiana Assembly of God District Council and he did a great job of ministry. One message was about a book that he will soon publish called "Dealing with Betrayal; Judas is that you?" In this he talked about how every minister will deal with some form of betrayal on some level and when he gave his altar call for preachers who had been wounded the altar area was FILLED from wall to wall by ministers.
It's going to happen so the best thing you can do is be prepared to let it grow you and not kill you.
#3 - You don't know who's on your side until most are against you. In those times of struggle you might be surprised to see who is at your side. Those you thought would never leave you sometimes do and the people you think just don't care fight tooth and nail in your support. This is a Biblical truth we can see in the lives of Moses, David, Peter, and of course Jesus. Your eyes must always be on the Lord. He and He alone will never leave you nor forsake you. The people you minister to are just flesh and blood and you can no more expect them to be perfect that you expect yourself to be. Love everybody and if it's hard to do love them even more. When you go through the seasons of struggle look around and see how God will rally to your side the most unexpected allies and take strength in who you have not who you've lost.
An awesome side note; almost everyone who loved you before they left you wants to see the relationship restored when the battles over. It's up to you preacher on whether they will or not.
#4 - The depth of the cut matters less than the hand holding the knife. This is the area of betrayal that can be devastating. Invariably in church you are going to have people you just "click" with. Your personalities, likes and dislikes will create a bond making you closer to some than others. This can create jealousies if you have folks who do not understand this so be careful. No matter how hard you try to love everyone the same it's just not always possible. That said, what do you do when betrayal or just hurt feelings comes from those closest to you?
We had a family one time that sat in our home and told us "You know, if you ever leave you better get two moving vans because we're going with you." That was one of the greatest things I had ever been told. Now we almost never speak to them. Just over a year after that statement we were told (for months) that they were unhappy with us and were going to leave, and then they did. I was SO crushed by the thought of losing these folks I decided I needed to leave that church and now looking back I know I didn't consult the Lord it was just my feelings. I know there are more direct betrayals and I've even had people under me want my job but it didn't hurt as much.
I don't have perfect advice for this but let me share with you how I survived. I MADE myself get back to the work of the kingdom and I believe this will work for a lot of ministers. We must always be reminded of WHO we work for. It's not the local church, the people who make up that body, or even our dearest friends, we work for Jesus. In my pain I studied more and more (and fully admit for a long time my sermons were stained with my hurt). I began to reach out to others who I wasn't close to and suddenly I had a new church and new friends.
What is done to you may be minor to some and painful to you but what you have been called to do and by who is the important thing to remember. Romans 11:29 says "God never changes His mind about the people He calls and the things He gives them." You've got to keep going and trust in that call.
Whew! I feel like I just preached a camp meeting. I hope these simple words help and if you don't agree that's fine, we all deal with life differently. One thing I promise you no matter what you're going through, tomorrow is coming and the Lord wants you to hang on. These notes may seem depressing but I don't mean them that way. With all I've been through and seen in ministry I can honestly say I feel better about what I'm doing now than ever before. I believe life is better today than any days gone by. I survived my season and I'm better prepared for the seasons ahead. I hope you are too.
Thanks for taking the time to read my blog and remember, YOU ARE LOVED!
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